Only when I sleep
by AerrowLover
Summary: When we dream, we re-live our past actions and when we wake we reflect and remember.... We ask, is it possible to change the future? Oneshot


_**Author's note: Now that I can finally upload stories here, I've found that I can't stop. Not good. So I'm afraid everyone will simply have to grin and bear it!**_

_**Enjoy! *runs off***_

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* * *

**_"_Why? Why are you doing this?" The red haired man looks up at me, clutching his left arm to his chest in obvious pain. His face bears several emotions at once, if that is even possible. _

_Pain, firstly._

_Sorrow, secondly._

_Confusion, third._

_But it is that last emotion that is the most strangest, to me anyway. It speaks volumes…_

_The last emotion is pity._

"_Look what you have done to your team mates, your friends. They liked you! They respected you! And what have you done? You've murdered them! How could you…" He breaks off now; his face contorted was pain and sadness, his emerald-green eyes glittering with unshed tears. He looks at me, and I look back at him. I cannot drop my gaze, no matter how much I want to._

"_It is simple. He told me that you never wanted me and you never liked me! That all of you lot hated me from the very start! And you know what? I believe him! You never came for me when I was captured, did you? You left me to rot! To die!" I scream at him, feeling like my heart was bursting inside. I swallow violently, feeling my breath come in ragged gasps. I am torn between anger and despair at this moment. _

_They had never come for me. _

_He and his squadron, my now ex-squadron, never came for me when I had been caught by Talons on a surprise raid. I had to put up with being locked up in a tiny, dark cell with no food and barely any water while not knowing what would happen to me. I had been alone, and terrified. And then, I was brought forward to the Master._

_Who told me what I now believe to be true: that they never wanted me… For if they had cared about me, surely they would have rescued me from the enemy?_

_My defeated leader looks at me, sighing gently. "Oh… why would you believe that? You know it's not true! Look, just put that energy blade down, and then we can talk about this-" He carefully extends his right hand, but I flinch away._

"_I can't!" I cry, feeling my arms shake and my knees bend. "I can't stop this, I have to finish it or else!" I shake my head desperately. "I have to!"_

"_Or else what?" His voice sounds so calm, and so comforting. I can't help it – words spill out of my mouth rapidly._

"_Or else they will come and kill me for not following orders…" I close my eyes then, and think back to what had been told to me. I had only been released from the cell because I had orders from the Master; orders which said that I had to destroy the Storm Hawks and their leader or else I would be the one destroyed… I had been beaten whilst a prisoner. But I had been assured with a wicked grin that I would wish to have never been born if I disobeyed their orders._

_It was kill or be killed._

_His face softens. "I can help you. Just put your weapon down and I can protect you if they come, okay? I promise. No one will harm you." With my eyes closed I can almost kid myself that he could actually save me. I do almost believe him, but I hear a voice in the back of my mind telling me that he is just trying to save his own skin. _

_Just like I should be saving mine. I shake my head furiously._

"_You promised before that you would protect me. But I don't need protecting. I can look after myself, and I will kill you!" I lunge towards him and before I can re-think my words and actions, I stab him and he falls._

"_Oh Rook…" he sighs, as a patch of red grows around his side and builds up and trickles down. I stare, transfixed to the sight. Have I just killed my leader? _

_He smiles softly at me, and as he talks his voice ebbs and fades away._

"_I want you… to know… that I… forgive…you…" he struggles valiantly to say a last sentence._

_His last and final sentence._

"_Don't harm… my son…he will help… you find your way…back…when he is older…" I watch as his eyes close and he breathes out. His arms lightly flop to one side. Blood pools around him and it is with shaking hands that I place my blade in the pouch on my back._

_His words ring in my mind._

'_I want you to know that I forgive you.' Well, he may have forgiven me, but I cannot forgive him. Not yet._

_I look towards the heat of the other battle which I have forgotten about. Sky Knights fight Talons. So many battles. So many lives being lost._

_I turn around and head the skimmer of the ramp of the Condor and fly to the nearest Sky Knight… with my old leader's words still in my head…_

_

* * *

_I wake up as suddenly as I had fallen asleep. I am panting and shaking and I soon discover that I am no longer in the bed, but rather on the floor. Its cold surface cools my burning skin and starts to soothe my mind.

Just as it has for the past couple of nights, during the past couple of weeks.

Ever since my first fight with that red-haired brat, who resembles his father in _everything_.

I think back to those words that his father spoke with his dying breath, from all those years ago which I still constantly hear in my dreams. It haunts me, I believe it always will.

"_I want you… to know… that I… forgive…you…"_

"_Don't harm… my son…he will help… you find your way…back…when he is older…"_

Find my way back? To where? To what?

I snort. Like I want to go back to what I was, when look at who I am now. Respected and feared, and a commander at that. I do not need to go back. I do not need to go back. The words form a mantra in my mind.

Yet I still feel a shudder run up my back though as I think of those last and final words.

He forgave me for what I did and then tells me that I can find my way back? I know that a small part of me, no matter how hard I try to hide it will always long to be a Sky Knight again, to be admired and have a team around me who would do whatever they could to make me feel safe.

Yes, I miss that life. But I fear that it is too late to do anything about it. Even though I have met that brat, he can do nothing for me. He is only a boy! And I am his enemy, his sworn rival. It is now his goal to defeat me, and I him.

I sigh to myself. Seems that I have no choice but to accept my role in life and what I have done in it. Someday I must answer for what I have done to the Sky Knight Council. Master Cyclonis' rule will one day cease to exist and I will be hauled back to Atmosia in chains to the sound of glorious celebration.

What will happen to me then, I do not know. Execution? Life imprisonment? I would personally prefer death to living my life out in yet another cramped cell.

But however until the day comes I can hope. Hope that maybe I can become once more what I once was. Hope that maybe the red-haired, green-eyed brat can actually help me.

Hope is what I live by now; though I never show it.

On Cyclonia you are meant to live by rules, orders…

I stand up and stretch before walking over to the window in my room. Dawn is breaking but to an outsider it wouldn't look like it. Cyclonia is normally surrounded by darkening skies and lightening but to me it is home. Right now the sky is lightening slightly and as I look at it I relax.

Yes, I have to live out a horrible life at the moment, but its when I sleep that I can dream about what I have lost.

Only when I sleep….

I walk back over to my bed and get in. I might as well try to get another hour or two of sleep before I have to get ready to leave. My mission for the day that is fast approaching is to track down the Storm hawks. Again. And fight them. Again. My eyes began to feel heavy and slowly begin to close.

I welcome sleep with open arms, because it is only then I see that I can re-live my past.

And from that I can hopefully change my future.

"_I want you to know that I forgive you." _

"I forgive you… and I am so sorry… I forgive you…" I mutter, before slipping into slumber.

* * *

_**Aww…. I feel sorry for him, don't you?**_

_**Yes, this was my little story on how Dark Ace betrayed the Storm Hawks and why. I have always felt that although he is rather evil at times I believe that he still has a bit of good in him somewhere, all he has to do is to show it!**_

_**I like to think that he would dream about what he did and show remorse over it after. **_

_**Thanks for reading! There will be a sort of companion piece to this only it will be from Aerrow's P.O.V.**_

_**Toodles! xx**_


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